Starsong (starsongky) wrote,

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Meditation: day 1

Been thinking about meditating a lot lately, re-reading Meditation for Dummies and wondering where to start. Today I finally got to the chapter on beginning exercises, chose one they recommended for beginners, sat down with my timer and started. Just do it.

5 minutes, breathing 10-counts (in-one, out-two)

Five minutes feels both longer and shorter than I'd thought it would. About the time I started thinking "This is never going to end!" the timer went off and it was over.

Didn't lose my place in the middle of a count, but found myself forgetting to stop at 10 and start over. Most ended up as sets of 12 instead of 10. As a kid, after my folks divorced, I'd count things - breathing, walking steps, etc. - in even pairs of even numbers. Everything was in groups of four, or eight, or twelve. Ten felt unfinished, so I kept going on to 11 and 12. (And I just had to fix that last sentence, I'd thought "Ten" and typed "Twelve".) Sometimes as now I'd catch myself at 11, and "eleven" morphs into "one" before I finish inhaling.

Not sure yet whether to relax and accept the cycles of 12, or if I should keep trying to achieve 10. Perhaps Ten is the point, keeping the mind focused rather than relaxing into old patterns. I need to practice focusing, that's why I've started meditating in the first place.

Should probably put on my robe tomorrow, sitting still got a little chilly by the end.
Tags: meditation
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