We don't need the monthly mulch deliveries any more, thanks, so quit fucking ordering them! This is the second load this month, what the Hell are you stockpiling for? You can knock off the damn all-night raves too, I couldn't sleep worth shit for all the ruckus you've been stirring up.
This baby farm is permanently closed whether you like it or not; I dug up the irrigation system five years ago. Time to let the field go fallow already.
No love for the squatters,
Your (hopefully soon-to-be) Crone landowner