Starsong (starsongky) wrote,

  • Mood:

seeing the forest and the trees

I've been told I have a gift for seeing patterns in what to most folks looks like an endless sea of details. The butterfly effect, how a little change here changes fifteen other things no one else sees are related. A detail that breaks pattern may as well have flashing lights and sirens, I can't help but notice it standing out from the rest.

Sometimes I wish I had everyone else's blinders, that I could only see whatever directly affects me and ignore the rest, let it fade to misty obscurity. But I can't not see the patterns, can't help but follow the web from one detail to the next. And it drives me totally insane that others are blind, that no one else sees all those connections that are glaringly obvious to me.

It's like trying to explain Green to someone who was born blind, there's simply no frame of reference. My brain's wired differently from theirs, I can never make them understand the way I do. Which makes me feel very, very much alone.
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