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Star Songs

June 24th, 2008

seeing the forest and the trees @ 07:16 pm

Current Mood: frustrated frustrated

I've been told I have a gift for seeing patterns in what to most folks looks like an endless sea of details. The butterfly effect, how a little change here changes fifteen other things no one else sees are related. A detail that breaks pattern may as well have flashing lights and sirens, I can't help but notice it standing out from the rest.

Sometimes I wish I had everyone else's blinders, that I could only see whatever directly affects me and ignore the rest, let it fade to misty obscurity. But I can't not see the patterns, can't help but follow the web from one detail to the next. And it drives me totally insane that others are blind, that no one else sees all those connections that are glaringly obvious to me.

It's like trying to explain Green to someone who was born blind, there's simply no frame of reference. My brain's wired differently from theirs, I can never make them understand the way I do. Which makes me feel very, very much alone.
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Date:June 25th, 2008 02:50 am (UTC)
What sorts of things are you talking about, in particular? Any examples? I might see some of where you are coming from. I think your kid's being on the autistic spectrum is somewhat genetic, cause you and your husband have a happily quirky personality, and since I share some of that, I am sure I might be able to see some of what you are talking about?
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Date:June 25th, 2008 12:37 pm (UTC)
No specifics, just a general feeling I've had lately. You're right, though - my knitting and Mike's drumming are two sides of the same coin, aren't they? Sometimes I just *have* to do something with my hands, and he's the same way. I've just learned a quieter way to get that tactile stimulation we both crave.

Thanks for the insight!
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Date:June 25th, 2008 12:44 pm (UTC)
I often feel the same way.

Star Songs